Archive for May, 2010

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The Inaugural Women’s Trial Boot Camp

May 18, 2010
Inaugural Class - Women's Trial Boot Camp - 2010

Inaugural Class - Women's Trial Boot Camp - May, 2010

Inspiration comes from many sources. This past weekend I was inspired by a group of talented and courageous women who attended the 3 Sisters Women’s Trial Boot Camp in Palm Springs, California. And as I write this, I feel their energy and camaraderie still, as if we were gathered together in the Palm Canyon room at the Hyatt Suites.  Our three days together were both validating and powerful and I will never forget the wonderful women I reconnected with, met for the first time, and with whom I shared three-days in Palm Springs.

This program was a long time in the making and the journey began many months ago, first in late night telephone calls and emails and finally coming to fruition around the dining room table at a rented condo in Breckenridge, Colorado.  In September 2009, a girls’ weekend in the mountains reminded those in attendance of the power of women and our need to nurture, support and encourage each other. As female trial lawyers, we face different challenges than our male counterparts, and often, we lack the self-confidence and support we need to reach our full potential.  Each of us recognized the need for a place where women trial lawyers could come together and work on the issues unique to us, where our voices could be heard and competition didn’t rule the day.  A rough outline for a Women’s Trial Boot Camp was developed, tentative dates were chosen and a location was agreed upon. We left the mountains of Colorado excited by the possibilities and our creativity stimulated.

Over the next several months, we continued brainstorming the program. We drafted our mission statement and refined our ideas. In November 2009, the 3 Sisters, LLP was launched and the program announced. A big question, however, loomed in our minds – Would anyone want to attend a Women’s Trial Boot Camp? To our surprise, we received a response far greater than we ever imagined.

As the opening session approached, anxiety ran high and the 3 Sisters, (myself, Fredilyn Sison and Mary Peckham) spent hours reviewing our plan, revising it to cover skills and topics we felt were important and making sure we had crossed all the T’s and dotted the I’s and that we were ready to meet the expectations and objectives of the women who would be joining us.

On Wednesday night, we finalized our preparations and caught up with each other. Bright and early Thursday morning we went on a long run to dissipate some of the nervous energy we each were feeling. When 6 p.m. rolled around, we drove the few blocks to the Hyatt Suites and set up for the opening session. As the participants began to arrive, the air was filled with excitement and enthusiasm. Women from TX, CA, WA, PA, and NC and even as far as Africa were soon gathered together. Poolside at the Hyatt we socialized during an informal reception with fabulous food, but even better company. The bonding began that night and a community was beginning to form. After some opening group building exercises, we retired for the night.

Friday morning began with an optional yoga session. The yoga teacher, who joined us that morning, and every other morning of the program, was simply incredible. She not only taught to the skill level of the group, she brought a quiet strength and peaceful spirit to the group each morning. What an incredible way to start the day.

After continental breakfast, we set to work. Many important skills were covered and we celebrated our uniqueness as women. The program belonged to the group and was adapted frequently to meet their needs, address their concerns and enhance the learning. It was a mutual give and take between the 3 Sisters and the group. All in attendance were supportive of each other and a willingness to help, nurture and encourage the other attendees was palpable. It was an incredibly positive atmosphere in which all could learn, challenge themselves and grow. The group was comprised of plaintiffs’ lawyers, family law practitioners, and public defenders, from women just admitted to the bar to those who have practiced 20+ years.

After an amazing day Friday, I didn’t think it could get any better. But it did! There was so much creative energy in the room and the new ideas, methods and exercises we shared were enthusiastically embraced. Saturday was even more powerful than Friday.

There were no evening sessions and the wonderful women who attended had the time to bond, get to know each other and spend time together relaxing and socializing.  Groups went to dinner together and formed friendships that will continue beyond the program.

Sunday was our last session, beginning again with yoga. Three days had flown by. I felt so much love, appreciation and validation from my fellow 3 Sisters and from the women who joined us for the weekend. Over our three days together, we had been on a journey and came to the end more self confident, powerful and energized than when we began. It was an amazing experience and I am still feeling the power and energy of the group. I have been inspired by every woman who participated. We have formed a community.  And an amazing community it is! This is just the beginning.

For more information about 3 Sisters programs, please visit http://www.the3sisters.org. Our next program is The Art of Telling Our Clients’ Story – Sept. 30- Oct. 3, 2010 in Palm Springs, California and is open to both male and female trial lawyers who represent people.

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Is Civility and Human Kindness Dead?

May 4, 2010

I wonder what it is that makes some people so mean and cruel? I am not talking about terrorists or some convicted criminals, but every day, ordinary folks who act or speak in hurtful and mean spirited ways. Is there something about human nature that makes people hurt others, spread lies and say mean and ugly things about them? I just don’t get it. I am certainly not a perfect person and have had my moments but I try to live and let live. I strive to be positive and support others. Sure, there are plenty of people that I don’t care for and whom I dislike, but I don’t purposely set out to hurt them.  It is the purposefulness of the hateful behavior that disturbs me.

It is as if civility and human kindness are dying, if they are not already dead. The lack of both is demonstrated daily by politicians, CEO’s of Corporate America, professional athletes and celebrities. So I guess it shouldn’t surprise me when ordinary people follow suit. There seems to be a need in some folks to bring others down and destroy them for personal gain. And when you are the victim of this type of campaign it is hurtful and depressing. I have seen the pain in friends, colleagues and the people I work with. And I have felt it myself. Sadly, there is almost nothing you can do to protect yourself or your reputation. Often, the best you can do is turn the other cheek and refuse to respond in kind.

Maybe the worst part is that some people seem to enjoy hurting others and actively set out to do so. They take joy from their cruel acts and words and laugh about their behavior with their friends. If you aren’t a member of their “club,” “inner circle,” or “organization,” you are seen as an enemy that needs to be destroyed. And if they don’t act and you succeed, the belief is that you will take away from them, or somehow diminish their own success. Isn’t it possible for all of us to succeed and be fulfilled by our individual endeavors? Why must some act to destroy others? What are they afraid of? What would happen if we supported and encouraged each other?

Perhaps we can all grow and become better human beings by reversing roles with and walking in the shoes of those we attack, speak unkindly of and treat inhumanely. Imagine what the world would look like if more of us did this. What have we got to loose?